The perception that making yourself a priority and functioning in the domains of Radical Self-Care or the pampering side of self-care is selfish is CRAY (crazy, lol)!!!!. This thinking can stem from various cultural, societal, and individual factors.
Let's explore some perceptions that exist:
Many cultures believe that putting others' needs before your own is virtuous and that focusing on oneself is inherently selfish. This mentality is often deeply ingrained and reinforced by societal expectations. This thinking is usually displayed and intensely enforced in motherhood. It is frowned upon if you are a mother and you just so happen to decide to put yourself before the needs of your children....who, by the way, can survive without you for an hour or two so you can indulge in focusing on the most important persons in this world...YOU!!!!
Newsflash...Sis, this does not make you a bad Mom or person, and the same goes for your Bro....you are not a bad Dad or a bad person!!!
What makes your kids and maybe everyone around you look at you with the 'oh no, they didn't side-eye' is when you are trippin' because the mere thought of having to show up in the moment to be a parent, spouse, friend, or anything else that requires you to give yourself to someone or something else is burning you out or making you want to punch a tree. TAKE TIME. FOR. YOU!
Your children, everyone, and tree huggers of America will thank you!
Guilt and Shame: Feeling guilty or ashamed for taking time for oneself, especially when you believe you should prioritize the needs of others, can lead you to view self-care as selfish instead of necessary…and TRUST me, it's NECESSARY!
Misunderstanding of Self-Care: Self-care involves a wide range of practices to maintain physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and it's not just about indulgent activities or pampering oneself. However, a beautifully scented candle from the Passionate Stewardship Box can set the tone for beautiful mindfulness practices.
Lack of Awareness: Some people underestimate the significance of self-care in maintaining overall health and well-being and may perceive it as trivial or self-indulgent…let’s not do that….your physical well-being depends on it.
Fear of Judgment: People often fear being judged for prioritizing self-care, especially if it's perceived as unconventional. Let them judge while you ensure you fully take care of the WHOLE YOU!
Cultural Stigma Around Mental Health: In cultures where there is still a stigma surrounding mental health issues, seeking help or taking time for self-care activities aimed at mental well-being may be viewed negatively….I always believe in respecting culture, but do not forget to respect yourself; caring for YOU is a sure way to do that!
Overemphasis on Productivity and Achievement: In productivity and achievement-driven societies, self-care is often viewed as unproductive or a waste of time… grind culture is wack!!! AND RADICAL Self-care is everything!!!!
Challenging the notion that taking care of oneself is selfish is crucial because self-care is essential for overall health and well-being. When individuals care for themselves, they become better equipped to support others and positively contribute to their communities. Thus, it is essential to encourage a shift in people's mindset towards self-care as a necessary and beneficial practice to help combat the associated stigma.
XO
Dr. Cherie